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My childhood dream didn’t come true…

But if she saw me now, she’d be pink with jealousy.

At 16, I decided that I wanted to work with creative people and support them in their dream come true without ever compromising their authentic self or expression. That’s exactly what I do now.

But I came to this decision after deciding that my childhood dream wouldn’t come true.

If I pursued that dream, I wouldn’t be here today. But without that dream, I wouldn’t be here either.

So I learned at a young age that your dreams don’t always come the way you thought it would look and that was okay. To change your mind and your plans. This lead me down a long, windy yellow brick road with many incredible beings to journey with along the way.

All that I am today, is created of all that I have been. And that experience taught me how to help others tune in and call upon the most mystical, creative parts of themselves from all of their being - past, present and future.

This is my story thus far, and how I became to be, who you see here now.

More about me

2018 - 2020

These were some transformational years, not just for me but for the collective. I experienced the biggest heartbreak of my life, which also acted as a total system reboot and ‘I can see clearly’ played in my head on repeat.

The tools and resources I’d carefully collected until then helped me get to work in all fronts. Finally stabilising the connection my personal magick, seeing my tools work on myself and discovering my love for the teaching space.

I went from crying myself to sleep every night and freelancing in any job I could get in 2018, to thriving, having the most pleasureful life, creating income only through work that really feel aligned to all that I’d built myself to be by the end of 2020.

2014-2017

After a couple of unexpected professional stumbles like being made redundant from my first grown up job, I once again felt a calling for a truly unique path.

I quit my nice arts industry job, balanced freelancing as a content creator and retail work.

I felt hungry for knowledge so I studied how to facilitate initiation ceremonies for young girls and Neuro Linguistic Programming from the world’s top trainers.

I gained clues into the human psyche, a stronger connection to my intuition, a clear mind, deeper understanding of marketing and branding, grit, humbleness and pragmatism.

I needed all of that because inside I was feeling insecure, unfocused and anxious. I never had such low self esteem until those years. But I realised, when you know better, you can do better. So I studied. I began to be more in tune with myself. I listen to a lot of Abraham Hicks and read up on the concept of the sacred feminine and Jungian archetypes. (Find my book list here)

2012-2013

I moved to Sydney in late January of 2012 to go to fashion college in hopes of becoming a publicist. Dreaming that one day I’d create opportunities and events for young creatives. Opportunities that were authentic to them, creative and community minded.

Within months of interning I knew I couldn’t bear PR but by December, I had landed a job with Indonesian surf brand, Surfer Girl as a digital marketing coordinator. A brand new type of position back then (Instagram began in 2012). I was in love. I was a MySpace girl before a Tumblr girl and I had a computer since I was 3.

A job that let me create things on the computer and post all day? I had found the perfect ‘income’ source for me.

In my personal life, I discovered the beauty of community. I began actively connecting and making friends on Instagram (some I have now managed to meet and work with in real life) and I followed my then-boyfriend to almost any gig on in Sydney. My life was filled with friends, music, a stable income AND a one-bedroom apartment in the northern beaches.

I wrapped my first couple of years with my ego inflated. In hindsight, the ego breaks that followed the next 9 years were completely necessary.

2010

My life completely changed this year. I was inches away from the first part of my childhood dream come true.

I was discovered by the famous 109 building in Shibuya when I was 14 by a talent agent, and they had been chasing me down for my return to Japan since. When my mother and I finally moved back, we began talks. The whole process was strange and uncomfortable.

I sang a Katy Perry song in a recording booth for executives from a major label, and was offered management with a pathway to J-pop stardom. This would be my first step to becoming a Hollywood star… I never set off to become ‘just’ a singer. I wanted to win an Oscar, a Grammy AND a Tony one day. But there were a couple of conditions that my artistic awareness and intuition could not get past. I was first told to give up acting, because I am too white and not asian enough to be cast on Japanese film or television productions. I also would have little artistic control, and by extent, image control. My body and my talents would belong to management and that did not feel like a dream come true to me.

I told my parents that I couldn’t see myself happy at 21 if I followed through. I could have stuck it out, and tried to find another way. My parents and I argued for days about the plans for rest of my life.

“You could do so much with that fame!”

Yet to their disappointment… I said no to my childhood dream.

But my intuition had taken me somewhere else, somewhere deeper where I heard my soul speak. I didn’t want fame. I wanted to be me and inspire people the only way that I could.

I patiently I waited for the answer, most of the time depressed in my pyjamas, holed up in my room, watching The Hills.

And then it came to me.

The first desire was to make sure no young person would never have to compromise their intuition or vision to realise their dream come true.

The second was to prove to myself and to everyone that following your intuition even over logic or careful planning, was the way to happiness.

Conception to teenhood

  • Memories from the womb to birth

    I remembered ever since memories became memorable, this wonderful orange space I was in… curious of the world after.

    I was born between a hardworking Japanese writer/translator/coach and an easy-going Australian entrepreneur of sorts. They couldn’t have been more opposite from one another, but I do believe I did get the best of both worlds.

    My name Ayla (eye-la) –愛良 – means to love well and to be loved well in Japanese, and moon in Turkish, according to countless Uber drivers I’ve had the pleasure of chatting to in my late 20s.

    My parents say I was pretty clear on what I wanted and how to get it from the birthing process. In that memory, I remember I was so comfortable, and not willing to depart. Such a Cancerian; “Sorry I’m late I was comfortable inside”

  • The 'developmental period': 3-11

    This chunk of my life was perhaps the most normal of all, although technology, creativity and magick was never denied in our home so I was speaking to faeries, reading cards and producing my own magazines from a young age. A true blessing I’m so grateful for.

    I was raised with Japanese, Indonesian and Australian cultures, travel and lots of positive psychology and NLP.

    As an imaginative child and I loved to play pretend, I wanted to be all kinds of people: nurse, teacher, FBI agent, lawyer, archeologist, queen etc

    I was around 4 when my little mind realised, that if I was an actor I could pretend to do all of these things. For me, telling a story was more attractive than the jobs itself.

    So I was given the chance to learn performing arts from some of Japan’s top choreographers and music teachers.

  • Teenhood, art and Australia

    My mother and I moved to Sydney when I was 12.

    I repeated year 6 for 6 months, and was then accepted into a performing arts high school. Imagine Fame, with emo kids and very low budget equipment and that was my high school.

    It was an incredibly weird and creative experience. Some of my dearest friends now are from that time.

    There I learned who I was as a creative, an artist, a musician… Embracing my Australian identity began to give me a sense of wholeness.

    I fell in love for the first time at 15, and began to give myself permission to pursue pleasure in all forms.

    Just before I left again at age 16, I received a series of mystical dreams and mystical initiations that reminded me of the magick I had forgotten since I left Japan.

Past life

I was lucky to grow up around a spiritual culture and people who pursued mysticism. I was first guided to a past life in France – a princess turned nun with a love for flowers.

During my NLP practitioner training in 2016, I collected three more past life memories from a hypnotic timeline process. That day on my way home, I picked up ‘Aleph’, a book by one of my favourite authors, Paulo Coelho and this book was about his experience exploring past life.